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defeatedqueen

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it has been a long time since i blogged here. [Jan. 22nd, 2010|01:12 pm]
with that fine voice i shout to the world, "shine a light"
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2 years 5 months. [Dec. 11th, 2009|10:06 pm]

We saw each other.

We both were stunned, but able to regain our composure.

It kinda amuses me that of all places, we meet each other on the bus. Not to mention, the presence of my boyfriend. It would be, seriously, classic if your girlfriend was present too.

During the time when I was still recovering from the past, I thought of every possible scenario where I could have seen you. I thought about my reactions, would I say hi, or just walk away; would I come up and give you one tight slap and make a ruckus? Would I still talk to you and pretend that nothing has happened?

It feels so surreal to see you again, after 2 years and 5 months. In this 29 months, 12 months were spent recovering, 7 months spent on living my life as before, and the ongoing 10 months are spent with my boyfriend,

Yet I do not feel hatred for you.

More of, everything is in the past, and there is no point in hating anymore.

Because it was my fault from the start.

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(no subject) [Aug. 12th, 2009|07:55 pm]
 i'm sorry but i dont really have the time to update anymore. 
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it's been a very mad week [Aug. 7th, 2009|01:52 pm]
today is the final moment. 

praying that everything goes well and well. 
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to the boyfwen [Aug. 2nd, 2009|01:08 pm]
There were temptations so seductive, yet I defeated them all. 
No one else can replace you as long as I love you.
And you love me back the same way too:) 

Thank you for accepting whoever I am:) 
I love you, and just only you. 
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(no subject) [Jul. 14th, 2009|09:46 pm]
你死了就再也没有人会拿我和你比较。
你死了就再也没有人会当你是大少爷,视我为粪土。
你死了就再也没有人会控制我的一举一动。
你死了就再也没有人会说我比你笨。
你死了就再也没有人说我是从医院抱错回家的白痴。

你死了最好。
我多么巴不得你死。
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happy 5 months :) [Jul. 12th, 2009|10:30 pm]
and i love you more and more as days pass by:)
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angry! hmph! [Jun. 26th, 2009|01:27 pm]
boyfwen will be confined in camp until next sunday!
that means i can't see him nor celebrate his birthday next saturday!
angry! angry! angry! hmph! hmph! hmph!

i cant help but to go back to her lj again and again.


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laugh many many [Jun. 17th, 2009|11:43 pm]
little Gabriel is a cheeko-in-making. haha. and he loves me! unlike the other little cousins.

and i think my dad's kinda weird. whose dad likes to watch taiwan soap operas along with kdramas? so weird right. my dad used to chase "All In" and "Witch Yoo Hee" when they replayed on channel u.

poor baby drank too much and wasn't himself during the battalion dinner. just imagining whatever he did during the dinner was hilarious, sorry baby! haha =x i still love you:)

sgwonderfuls is going under a major revamp which will take 4 months to complete.. and i really hope all will work together to make it successful.

psst. i forgot that i have an UT tomorrow. going to do up notes during lunch break. arggh.
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and it's not just only me. [Jun. 2nd, 2009|11:16 pm]
as said above.
because all others had the same sentiments as me.

note to self: remember to take baby's cow back with me.
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=] [May. 31st, 2009|02:42 pm]
baby's cpu has broken down! =[ he moved the cpu over to my aunt's place and ahfat will be taking a look on monday to see whats the problem. poor baby:(

anyway on saturday we went down to simlim to find the cpu fan but to no avail.. they needed to see the cpu before they could decide on which model to sell us =.= baby has decided to send it for repair once ahfat sorted out what the problem is.

Saturday was somehow emo + funny. baby and i kept playing poking game, while I kept saying weird stuff to his soft toys. baby acted very funny. hahaha. =x

now its the duration of 2 week break. =D short but, enough for me to recharge. =DDDD
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communication down [May. 27th, 2009|12:36 pm]
is it that couples sometimes find hard to communicate with each other?

trying my best to interest you, but nothing works.
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giving up [May. 26th, 2009|06:48 pm]
the aftermath was, I felt really stupid.

as if I was the biggest fool in the world.
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to huijin, precious and natalie. [May. 21st, 2009|10:14 pm]
get the fuck off my life.
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My own version of Seo Taiji - Moai [May. 21st, 2009|10:19 am]
 
 

Neon signs shine so brightly behind me

It’s reaction to the time that I wasted all this while

All the way from leaving

Justification within myself

The real stories are kept, kept deep down inside me

 

Sometimes with sweet lies that blind me totally

Sometimes like a child you just stand there emotionlessly

 

And now all I need, oh all I need is just your

Your true heart to listen to all my feelings

 

The strange path that I used to walk

And the tears in my eyes

If you see me please all into the deep, deep sea

 

The wonder of nature

All in this small island

It’s just you who I want to share, all the pent up emotions

In the Easter island

 

When the night is falling with the skies eating  the sun

When the stars are fading with the clouds overpowering them

Bathing in the cold sea with waves so soft and cool

The ever gentle waves rocking me on so slow

 

I smile when back to familiarity

Sneers haunt me from right behind ever so surprisingly

Here I stand facing the sea with no boundary

With the gentle breeze caressing me softly

 

The strange path that I used to walk

And the tears in my eyes

If you see me please all into the deep, deep sea

 

The wonder of nature

All in this small island

It’s just you who I want to share, all the pent up emotions

In the Easter island

 

When I will see you again

You will be standing, just you and only you

Don’t be scared, don’t be shy and don’t be so nervous

Once dawn comes to earth

It’s when I’ll return

 

The strange path that I used to walk

And the tears in my eyes

If you see me please all into the deep, deep sea

 

The wonder of nature

All in this small island

It’s just you who I want to share, all the pent up emotions

In the Easter island


original translation thanks to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-S_l8puiD-U

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sickxinfinity [May. 14th, 2009|01:25 pm]
i have been sick for 2 weeks and going. developed a fever yesterday and spent 41 bucks on the doctor. thats why people say you need money to get sick. It seems like everyone is getting flu nowadays, and i suspect its the aircon in school. seriously i doubt they clean the air con.

School has been tiring. Like real tiring. Somehow I dread going to school.. i think i'll be alright as long as I don't develop depression symptoms. Trying to keep my spirits upbeat.

Made new spectacles with baby on monday, and he kept laughing at me when I was trying on the frames. :( went to a different optician and got warned about my myopia again! argh. on wed i think the pizzahut with Eisabess made me sick. eisabess got me a vintage tee that features a nerdy character from the Simpsons, with the words: I LUV NERDS. going to wear it on saturday to see baby's reaction kekeke.

=DDDD
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and the incessant ramblings of mine [Apr. 26th, 2009|10:37 pm]
school has started for a week and I am feeling stressed over people's expectations of me. trying to cope as well as I can. threw a tantrum last night yet baby took everything in. feeling so guilty after baby told me its nothing.

read a blog entry from Kris and feeling happy for him that he is preparing for his marriage. i get reminded that savings are of utmost importance, be it for marriage or for future plans. i am already thinking to save up for my future plans with baby, and even if i were to break up with baby in the future, these plans will go on as per normal. am i thinking too far ahead in the future? maybe i am.

looking forward to thursday when baby is on bloc leave and he'll book out for 3 days:) that means 2 and a half days of baby, baby and just baby:) i still have school on thureday and i can only meet him after 4.15pm :( but baby is picking me up from school and i'm happy at the thought of that.

looking forward to thursday. :)  2 months plus of fate, destiny and love and it will continue:)
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post birthday + new academic year [Apr. 20th, 2009|09:53 pm]
as what I hoped 19th birthday was awesome with a self-made birthday cake:) however the cake was a bit screwed up.. too much butter T.T family didn't really have good opinions about the taste but baby still happily wolfed all 4 slices of the buttery cake down his throat. furthermore baby sponsored ten bucks for my new backpack. silly baby. :)

year 3 started alright as I got to know more people around:) my team mates were nice and there's this very cute butch from china who's in my team;) keke. i think baby is going to stare at me again for saying this. however the different classes are making me confused T.T secondly theres no morning break which makes me hungry until i see stars x.x

can't wait for fridayyyy. can't wait to see baby.
'
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uneasy [Apr. 11th, 2009|01:31 pm]
心好乱好乱。
好怕好怕好怕。
我也不知道我在怕什么。

只怕鬼迷心窍。
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and its full of love [Apr. 11th, 2009|12:34 pm]
was away to chalet with allynn, eileen and xiaxia on monday. lost madly in blackjack and daidee lol. baby took a day off on wednesday and we slacked together all the way till friday. :) baby gave me an early birthday treat on friday and he got me Zen X-fi~ silly baby:) he's gonna eat grass in May.

when we were out earlier in friday afternoon, both of us realised that our tastes are real different. it kinda amazes me that two people of vastly different characters can get along. yet we had our first quarrel in the night, which made both of us real unhappy. but now everything's fine:)

and silly baby i miss you many many.
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